Day four: Up Country

"I overheard some of them talking..."

Late news from the camp site: we're still not sure of the context in which this was said, but at some point last night, Michelle walked past Terry and Linda's tent, just as Terry announced "It's not hard..."

So this morning we had our long run to breakfast, a hefty drive from Steart Farm up to Bridgwater.

Carol and Michelle found that their CB aerial mount was not performing as they'd like, due to one of its parts going missing. So at the usual toilet stop we took the opportunity to sort it out, temporarily replacing the missing bit with a screwdriver bit. At the same time, Lottie decided to do a better job of attaching his aerial with a spare grub screw I happened to have, and a judicious application of gaffer tape.

CBs sorted and we were off again, facing the challenges of Porlock Hill with screaming gearboxes and smoking (and fading) brakes. No dramas this time though, except the very old, very slow coach chugging away getting up the other side. Apart from this, and random sheep laid in the road, our drive over Exmoor was nice and easy.

And so to breakfast. Unfortunately although we held out hope that they'd join us at Bridgwater, Jo & Mike didn't make it on the run with us this year...

"I think they mean well... but still... they're mad..."

So once our Morrison's breakfasts were done, and we'd grabbed bits we needed through the day, some of us nipped for petrol while Lottie ( by this time christened "Team Gaffer Tape") attached a model of a cow to his wing mirror. It seemed the natural thing to do, somehow.

Terry for once held the rest of us up, disappearing for petrol well after everyone else was ready to go; but eventually we were on our way on one of our short motorway sections, heading for the old Severn crossing.

"These guys are starting to worry me..."

Myself and David managed to save a bit of cash on the crossing. While at the services just beforehand (while Lottie sorted out his loose cow and added more gaffer tape to his aerial), I checked on the Severn crossing website and found that blue badge holders are exempt from the toll...

Once we got to the toll booths, David and I don't through easily and for nothing, while Terry again held the rest of us up by driving to the TAG- only booth.

"... but they could outrun anyone"

Up Monmouthshire next, through the twisty bits which have never seen a mobile signal (so the tracker was having trouble) and soon we were shooting past Tintern Abbey. Now, this place is admittedly a bit of a fixer-upper, but really it only needs a bit of gaffer tape.

Getting over the tight bridges is definitely easier with a small group too...

Soon we found (through Linda's giggle-fit) that Lottie's erection was far better than Jock's - which was "cock out" - and which had to be fixed with gaffer tape and a lump hammer. We're qualified to do anything with nothing... particularly when a CB mount is concerned.

Rumours were then started that Linda has a bottom fetish, for suggesting that the Herefordshire roads were making jock junior shake his ass...

"I'm kind of getting used to them now"

Not long up the road we passed the Cadbury's factory, now owned by Kraft of course. Note to David: Kraft Spray-on Cheese is allegedly a foodstuff, but is definitely NOT a deodorant...

And before we knew it, we were at Craven Arms for a loo and snack stop, and then back on our way, tired but determined to get up to our overnight stop. Not so easy when you have the Comma Classic Oil Steel Band playing a single note all the way.

Trudging along we managed (while avoiding other drivers as usual) to make it to our usual petrol stop. Unfortunately for some of the ladies this stop has no toilets, so once we'd filled up we headed a bit further and found some services about 3 1/2 miles. Disappointingly their petrol was 5p a litre cheaper too.

And on we plodded... on to the motorway heading up to the services, occasionally something on the CB such as directions:

"We're only on here for one junction, we're coming off at junction 9"
"Junction 9, Roger!"
"That's junction 9 *Carol*"
"Roger Carol... and that's not an instruction!"

"I'm beginning to like this bunch..."

Eventually we hit Charnock Richard, got booked in, checked the rooms, sorted out some food and settled down to bit of "things you never knew about your fellow LEJOGgers", including such gems as how Terry and Linda's twins were conceived, and that Michelle's friends husband sang the theme to Poddington Peas...

And now it's time to retire for the evening, with a 7am start and a stop on the Lancashire Riviera tomorrow, there's no rest til Moffat...